The 2019 Miller Shearer Family Christmas letter

Congrats! You have just received your copy of the Miller Shearer Meme Maker 2019 Diamond Edition! Please open carefully and follow all the instructions. This box contains highly volatile chemicals; please treat with caution. Do not mix with salt. Ages 12 and up.

(Turn very small and easily rippable page)

So you’ve decided to embark on the Miller Shearer Meme (pronounced “meem”) Challenge? The Hasbro™ Company thanks you for your dedication. Welcome to the rest of your life. To provide some assistance in your meme making, below are examples of the memes you will soon be making. Above each example is a brief description of the life of each member of the Miller Shearer family over the most recent 365-day span. Use these details to make your memes. Are you ready to achieve internet fame? Be forewarned: the memes you make will be powerful. Trust your gut.

Tobin: As is the case with my partner of nearly 33 years, I don’t quite understand the meme that follows (a bit of research on the interwebs did reveal that the Drake meme indicates disdain on the top and approval on the bottom for what that’s worth). The year was marked by a rough spring semester stemming from uncertainty at the university, a profound sojourn with Zach during the summer across 540 miles of northern Spain on the Camino de Santiago, and a fulfilling fall semester back in Missoula featuring engagement with some truly remarkable scholars (ex.: see photo with Dr. West below). I’m also doing the Episcopalian choir gig with Cheryl. It is the most humbling and challenging thing I’ve done in years (and I’m pretty sure that I’ve broken the choir on several occasions).

Cheryl: When we first asked Dylan and Zach to write our Christmas letter all those years ago, I had no idea that it would lead to a Meme Game. Honestly, I don’t really get it, and, thus, in the words of my friend Julien, I am old and a half. And I have laser eyes. So there. As to the year, I’ve made enough airplane trips to make me consider giving up flying. I continue to do my job as a nurse case manager. Something new is singing in the choir at Holy Spirit Episcopal Church which has been a stretch and also fun. I’m grateful for friends and family near and far, and I hope for a healthy season filled with peace and joy for you all. 

Dylan: 2019. I’m informed that in fact 2019 is a year. Who knew? I continued to be in grad school, not copying my dad. I took a trip to Spain with my family. I began dating Sarah, a wonderful, cool, awesome person. I still tweet too much. I started a newsletter (dylanshearer.substack.com please like and subscribe). I took a German 101 class with a bunch of freshmen and can now pronounce “heiß” correctly. I continue to cook whenever I can. Between January 2020 and April 2020, I will have to read 200 books. These have been some tremendous facts about me. I’m sorry to leave so quickly, but I need to ruminate more over what, exactly “a year” is. Was 2018 a year? Who knows?

Zach: Boy, it’s been a long, crazy year for me. In June, I quit my job in the financial aid department of an online university in order to walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain with my Dad. He called it a “profound sojourn” which is a great yet incomplete way of describing a long walk where we got to: eat a lot of paella, pulpo, and pintxos; take siestas every day and drink wine; see beautiful countryside and architecture. A truly profound experience (for my tummy). When we finished, I returned to my amazing girlfriend Mimi in Chicago who I’m now living with in a great little apartment in the Lincoln Square neighborhood. After buying two couches off nice people on Craigslist, it’s mostly finished, except we’re still in need of some art on our walls (if you were thinking of buying me a gift for some reason, take note). At the moment, I’m currently temping for work while looking for something a little more full time and fulfilling. Anyway, for 2020, what I’m most looking forward to is voting for Bernie Sanders for President. Please do the same so that everybody can finally have healthcare, thanks.

   

Have you read of all of this? Excellent, you are now ready to begin your journey as a master meme maker. Please note that the Diamond Edition of the 2019 Miller Shearer Meme Maker does not come with the blank meme templates. Please either upgrade to the Platinum edition to receive all the blank templates or purchase specific blank templates individually through our online portal. All questions and comments can be forwarded to your nearest dumpster.

Thanks!

Bonus Memes:

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