This year, the Shearer
family has finally joined the modern world and added a Sabremetrics division to
our operating budget. We believe that advanced statistics and data science can
give us new insights into our family that will really let us take this Xmas
letter to the big time. We’ll only be happy when we finally take home the
National Christmas Letter Championship (the damn Hendricksons keep beating us
out in the semis). Unfortunately, due to stingy ownership, the Sabremetrics (or
Shearermetrics, if you will) division is made up entirely of an unpaid intern
named Ryan who is currently on a one-man strike because I wouldn’t approve his
vacation request for some off days over Christmas, but, before he decided to
start banging a drum outside of my parents’ house all day and chanting about a
new contract, we were able to get some great graphs and pie charts out of him.
So, please enjoy our new and improved Christmas letter, complete with the most
cutting edge analysis to give a deeper and more critical look into just how
awesome and cool the Shearer family is. Make sure to go online and vote for us
in the championship. We need all the support we can get.
Anyway, here’s information
about our family. You can read the words if you have to, I guess, but make sure
to pay attention to the very real and not-made-up-at-all data for special
insight into who we are as a family.
Tobin:
I’m trying to come up with
something to say of the non-sincere variety, but I’ve been told that, when I
attempt sarcasm, I just end up sounding mean. So, sincere it is.
Although it has been a
rough year at the university, highlights (other than posting on Facebook) have
been lots of backpacking and camping trips this summer, a trip with Cheryl to
New Orleans to attend Humanities meetings, getting to work with awesome
students, our weekly supper club gatherings (now completing our 10th year),
getting to officiate at a wedding here in Missoula (see Cheryl’s shout out
below), and the addition of Pauli (our St. Bernard/Border Collie mix named
after civil rights activist Pauli Murray) to our family.
I still am in love as much
as ever with my partner (Cheryl, in case it wasn’t obvious) of 32 years (as of
December 21). She is my favorite person to get to hang out with. Peace.
Cheryl:
Hi friends and family.
Before you have to read any further without actual holiday greetings, let me
just say we hope you all are having or had a wonderful time with family and
friends and that the New Year is the happiest of all.
This past year I finished
my program in Public Health, changed employers (though I’m doing the same job)
and went to not one but two large family reunions in the midwest. It was
rejuvenating taking 2 weeks of vacation this summer and doing numerous weekend
trips. Having our family together in Missoula in October for friends’ wedding
(shout out to Beth and Justin!) was also a highlight. Now that I’ll not be in
school, I’m trying to figure out where my life is going, which is always fun.
What if it’s not going anywhere? I guess we’ll see. Love and Peace to you all!
Dylan:
Before I get into the all the
incredibly important, life-changing, and virtuous stuff I’ve done this year,
I’d just like everyone complete a little task. Please pull out your copy (or
take it off the wall where you have it framed) of the 2015 Miller Shearer
Christmas letter. Go all the way to the end. What’s that? A bit about advanced
stats for the Miller Shearer family? During a year when I wrote the letter?
Three whole years ago? Wild, wild, stuff. Wonder where Zach got the idea?
Couldn’t have been me, his older brother, no way.
Bit drama aside, it’s been
a year of change for me. I started the PhD program in History at University of
Illinois-Chicago (UIC for short. Go Flames?) this fall, so I’m currently doing
that full time. It also means that I’m mostly just doing that, and as the above
graph represents, I’ve had to cut back on some other stuff (Note: While I’m
writing this Zach is on his way over to my house to play video games with me.)
I’ve been really enjoying it and have met some cool people in the program. And
no, I am not turning into my Dad, no matter how much it seems like I am doing
exactly that. I know how to swear, and he just straight up doesn’t.
I won’t bore you with
anything else about it. That’s really been the biggest thing. I still do improv
around the city, tweet too much, and cook whenever I can. And once again, as a
reminder, Zach stole my bit. Please, never forget this.
Zach:
I have no idea what Dylan is
talking about with a “bit.” Ryan is very real, and I’m beginning to understand
why he went on strike if members of our family won’t even acknowledge him as a
real human. Shame, Dylan, shame.
Anyway, 2018 was a pretty solid year for me, and I’ll go over some of the highlights. In July, I found a new job as a Financial Aid Verification Representative for Purdue Global. As some of you may recall, my old job was working the night shift at an international hostel, so my sleep cycle is much healthier now. About a month after finding the new job, I also moved apartments. I now live in an apartment unit in the basement of an Episcopalian Church rectory. There are some weird paintings on the wall and an out-of-tune piano in the living room, but it’s cheap rent so I can’t complain too much.
Anyway, 2018 was a pretty solid year for me, and I’ll go over some of the highlights. In July, I found a new job as a Financial Aid Verification Representative for Purdue Global. As some of you may recall, my old job was working the night shift at an international hostel, so my sleep cycle is much healthier now. About a month after finding the new job, I also moved apartments. I now live in an apartment unit in the basement of an Episcopalian Church rectory. There are some weird paintings on the wall and an out-of-tune piano in the living room, but it’s cheap rent so I can’t complain too much.
Additionally, I am doing a
lot of volunteer communications work with the Chicago chapter of the DSA as
well as helping out on an alderman campaign. Highlight of the year so far with
that is when I showed up for like 3 seconds at the beginning of an AJ+ video
about Democratic Socialism.
Oh, also, I do have a girlfriend now. Her name is Mimi and she’s a very lovely person. (She also helped out with these graphs!) Hopefully you’ll get to meet her sometime soon.
Oh, also, I do have a girlfriend now. Her name is Mimi and she’s a very lovely person. (She also helped out with these graphs!) Hopefully you’ll get to meet her sometime soon.
Well, that’s all of us. Hope
you enjoyed hearing about our lives in 2018. As you can see, a lot of great
insights and hilarious moments thanks to our new Shearermetrics department.
Before we go, I’d just like
to wish you all happy holidays and a fantastic new year. Please go online and
vote for out letter. Also, consider sending an email to the judges over at the
National Christmas Letter Championship to tell them how much you enjoyed
reading this. Maybe don’t mention Ryan. Don’t want to get disqualified for a
labor violation and give the Hendricksons an easy win, those jerks.
Happy Holidays!
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