The Annual Miller Shearer Family Holiday Letter
A Shear-er Delight!
Seasons greetings beloved friends and family of the Miller Shearers! And, since I’m feeling generous, seasons greetings to all of you who don’t really know any of us Shearers that well but clicked on the link anyway because you saw it on Facebook and were bored and curious. You’re loved too. Not as loved as the people I’m talking about in the first sentence though, so don’t get any ideas.
The Shearer family committee (aka Zach) in charge of the 2020 Annual Miller Shearer Family Holiday Letter (AMSFHL) spent long hours hard at work over Zoom calls trying to come up with a fresh take on the letter for 2020. We wanted something new. Something bold. A game-changing letter. Something that would make all you readers think, “Wow, Zach is the Lebron James of writing holiday letters. Maybe 2020 wasn’t that bad after all.”
So we racked our brains. We considered re-branding and going with a market-researched minimalist approach for the AMSFHL where instead of a letter we just sent out a word cloud of Shearer family correspondence in 2020. In the end we decided that approach didn’t have enough heart and would ultimately disappoint the readers and also confuse them as to why “guillotine” was so big and bold.
Then we considered an approach that would appeal to the key Zoomer demographic, where the AMSFHL would, instead of being a letter, be a Tik Tok of all of us dancing to Korean boy band BTS. However, if you’ve ever seen my father dance, you understand why we nixed that idea.
Finally, we realized that the true recipe to the past success of the AMSFHL was teamwork. All of our voices combined into one truly special letter that brings joy to everyone who reads it. Now, if you’re the Lebron James of writing holiday letters, how do you improve your letter writing team to guarantee a championship? Well, you would trade away the weak links and convince a couple of all stars to sign on. Unfortunately I can’t trade away my family members for better letter writers so I decided to do the next best thing and give them designated questions to answer to ensure that their sections of the AMSFHL are both meaningful and entertaining.
Without further ado, please enjoy this truly top notch AMSFHL. Happy Holidays family and friends and other internet people!
Mother/Cheryl
What’s your sign?
Aquarius - the best sign.
What are 3 things you accomplished this year that you're proud of?
I’m working on developing practices which improve resiliency. I took a class that was offered through my work and - for those of you who know me - this is a stretch. I’ve tried to maintain relationships with family and friends during, you know, a pandemic. I’ve used my superpower of turning left-overs into delicious food to good effect. I don’t think any of these things are actual “accomplishments.” Just, you know, getting through.
Favorite TV Show/Movie you watched in 2020?
Tiger King, Hamilton and all the seasons of Last Tango in Halifax. (I will admit to becoming a 2020 cliché in several areas - Netflix binge watching is one of them. See below for another.)
Rice, Potatoes, Pasta, Bread. You have to remove one of these carbs entirely from your diet. What do you pick?
Wow, any of those would be harsh. Probably pasta. I mean, you can make fake pasta out of zucchini or spaghetti squash, right?
What are you hopeful for going into 2021?
I am hopeful that people will get vaccinated for COVID, and we can safely get together with family and friends. There has been some amazing art done this year. I’m hopeful that people will continue with the positive things they have started this year.
Favorite drink that got you through the year?
Red wine (see note above about being a 2020 cliché).
Hypothetically, if Dylan and I were hanging off a cliff and you could only save one of us, who would you save?
Why are you hanging off a cliff? What is the matter with you boys? Can’t I leave you alone for even 5 seconds? Get your butts back up here right now!
Anything else you’d like to let the fans know?
I’m grateful for my amazing husband and our sons and their partners. Also friends to go camping with in the summer and a fireplace to sit next to in the winter. May you all enjoy a happy holiday season. Wear a mask when going out!
Father/Tobin
What’s your sign?
Yields are pretty cool. So are Pedestrian crossings. But my all-time fav is a good old Stop. Definitive. Octagonal. Helpful to all.
What are 3 things you accomplished this year that you're proud of? (None of them can be Crossfit related)
Starting up Widerstand Consulting with Cheryl (and our amazing team of board members, trainers, and auditors) and bringing in over $50,000 to support the work of anti-racism through those efforts. Finishing and submitting a new book manuscript on the role of religious resources and social change movements. Teaching a new class called “God: past, puzzle, present” to a group of 30 amazing students.
Favorite TV Show/Movie you watched in 2020?
A tie between The Mandalorian and The Derry Girls.
Is a hotdog a sandwich?
Only on Tuesdays.
What are you hopeful for going into 2021?
An effective and justly distributed COVID vaccine, a new presidential administration, and getting to work with colleagues both inside and outside the academy in the ongoing work of dismantling racism and white supremacy.
Favorite drink that got you through the year?
Chocolate milk (after doing my daily ZOOM workout in the garage – which is actually not CrossFit anymore but rather MontanaFit because the owners of our local CrossFit gym left the brand after CrossFit’s founder said some crazy racist nonsense. Shout out to Ian and Jesse and the rest of the crew at my gym. Proud of you all.)
Hypothetically, now that marijuana is legal in both Illinois and Montana, would you try a very low, manageable amount with Dylan and me next time we see you? We could even get it in edible form or in like a soda or something so you wouldn’t even have to smoke it or anything.
Hypothetically speaking, no. I’m just too much of a goody two shoes.
Anything else you’d like to let the fans know?
We are so proud of our sons and their partners for being awesome and continuing to let us be part of their lives. Thanks to you four. We love you.
Brother/Dylan
What’s your sign?
Similar to Beyoncé, I am a Virgo. Also similar to Beyoncé I have released several best-selling albums and am considered the “Queen of Pop.”
What are 3 things you accomplished this year that you're proud of?
I got to move in with my wonderful girlfriend Sarah, and adopt a dog, Mars, with her. I loved every second of it, and living with her has made that pandemic one thousand times more bearable. Coming in a far third place I passed my comprehensive exams, a big step toward getting my PhD. Sorry there’s no jokes here.
Favorite TV Show/Movie you watched in 2020?
TV shows and movies are of course for the uneducated hoi polloi. I watch film and cinema. I really enjoyed dragging Sarah to see 2001: A Space Odyssey for one of the last things we did pre-pandemic. I also really liked Palm Springs, and The Lighthouse. TV show wise, I really enjoyed my annual re-watch of Happy Endings. Great show.
How many hot dogs do you think you could eat in 30 min?
Four. Assuming we are talking about a perfectly grilled all-beef char dog absolutely dragged through the garden.
What are you hopeful for going into 2021?
I am hoping that one of my Powerball tickets hits. I am hopeful that the burgeoning socialist movement in the US makes strides toward the creation of an equitable and fair society, where human life is not seen as a way to make money, but as an intrinsic good. I am also hopeful that we get to see Rudy Giuliani poop his pants on live TV.
Favorite drink that got you through the year?
Eggrollnog spritzer. You take several egg rolls and smash them up into bits. Then you take a few egg yolks, froth them, and then combine the froth, and the rolls with an aperol spritz. A wonderful combo perfect for both winter AND spring. JK. The drink that got me through 2020 was the simple, wonderful, perfect, “glass of beer.”
How are things going with Sarah?
Great. As I mentioned earlier, we moved in together in May, and we also got a wonderful little dog. I assume I’m not putting words in her mouth here. It’s been wonderful to get to spend even more time with her and grow closer to her. Moving in with someone during a pandemic probably seemed like a dumb idea to a lot of people, but it worked for us.
Who’s the toughest person that you and I could take in a fight if we teamed up on them?
Off the top of my head? On our best day, John Wick. On our worst day? Muhammad Ali in his prime.
Anything else you’d like to let the fans know?
The movie Monster-in-Law is currently on TV and I have a theory about how you can tell what type of character Adam Scott is playing by his haircut. DM for deets.
AMSFHL Chair/Zach
What’s your sign?
I’m a Cancer. The best sign. Crab gang.
What are 3 things you accomplished this year that you're proud of?
In September I took over as Editor-in-Chief of Midwest Socialist, a small socialist magazine run out of the Chicago Democratic Socialists of America. We’ve published a number of really good essays and articles over the last few months and it's been really fulfilling work.
I’m proud of making it through the year without going full on video game recluse who only eats ramen for every meal and hasn’t showered in a few days. I’ve made a concerted effort to keep up with friends and family, keep myself busy, and most importantly, make sure Mimi still likes me and doesn’t think I’m a huge slob.
I did a good amount of cooking this year, and I feel like I expanded my skills and ability (although I’m still not as good as Dylan or Mimi).
Favorite TV Show/Movie you watched in 2020?
Utopia (the British version). Don’t watch it if violence makes you squeamish. It’s a really engaging thriller that’s visually gorgeous and has a killer soundtrack as well.
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
Yes, absolutely. It’s a delicious addition to most pizzas and anybody who thinks otherwise needs to expand their small minds.
What are you hopeful for going into 2021?
While there is a lot of really bad stuff in politics right now, I’m hopeful that the socialist and Black Lives Matter movement will continue to grow in 2021 and eventually we’ll get to a point where we can make some real positive change.
Favorite drink that got you through the year?
Old Style. I’m a simple guy who likes a simple beer.
How are things going with Mimi?
They’re going great! We’re in the same apartment that we moved into a little over a year ago. She appreciates that I’ve gotten a little better at cooking although she still doesn’t appreciate my attempts at singing. I appreciate her even better cooking and actually good singing and also the way she supports me and makes me a better person. I’m very lucky.
Would you rather have to live in the Marianas Trench for one year, or in deep outer space for one year?
Space, please. Way less terrifying to float around and eat astronaut ice cream in total emptiness than to be stuck in some deep hell where all types of unknown deep sea monsters could pop up at any moment. Plus, I’d still have to deal with gravity in the Trench. No thank you.
Anything else you’d like to let the fans know?
Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and hopefully sometime this year I get to see you in person. Maybe we’ll have a beer or a coffee or some sort of food item. It’ll be nice. If we don’t get to see each other in person, then let’s text or email sometime.
And that’s that. I hope you all enjoyed getting to know our family and are now sitting in awe of the instant classic 2020 AMSFHL. In retrospect, maybe I’m not the Lebron James of writing family letters and more of a Rajon Rondo distributor type. Definitely championship level though.
Happy Holidays to all!
