The Annual Miller-Shearer
(but really you can just say Shearer)
Christmas (2009) Snark Fest
“Now with 45% more Snobbery and Snide Remarks”
Breaking News (Missoula, MT): A college student is writing this Christmas letter [Dylan]. One would think that this would result in not only a better-written and punctuated letter but also one that is filled with thoughtful insight and reflection. Wrong. Me being a college student just means that there will be a gratuitous[1] number of references to people you’ve never heard of, like Alexandre Kojève or André Breton[2], even though I’m a history education major, and reviews of albums by bands that people only listen to in order to seem cool, like The Animal Collective or Blitzen Trapper. Also for breakfast today I had a cheese bagel and some Schweppes’s Ginger Ale so really no one should be expecting anything remotely close to the “L'orientation lacanienne”[3] or Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots[4] but I’ll try my hardest.
2009 was a pretty interesting year for the family. First of all, for those of you who pulled a lichen[5] and were living under a rock for the last year, we’re all either living or going to school in Missoula, Montana. This move took place in parts seeing as yours truly spent the summer either working at a camp in Iowa or living with his friends in Evanston.[6] I then came out to Missoula to start my freshman year at The University of Montana, which, if you must know, currently has the number one team in the FCS playoffs. Also Zach and I graduated from Evanston Township High School. In more important news Zach became taller than your wonderful guide to the Miller-Shearer family. Normally I wouldn’t tell you all of this, as it’s unimportant and of no use to anyone, not even Zach, but I decided that I should let our readers know before Zach does so you hear a completely unbiased report. The truth is Zach is approximately somewhere between a 1/16th and 1/8th of an inch taller then I am. Now before you say things like “but Dylan does that even count?” or “what kind of lame even measures with such precision?” I want to remind you that this battle for supremacy in height is very important. However, I have come to a conclusion of mighty import, much like Fonzie in that one Happy Days episode, that height is of no importance in this world and that one’s physical stature has nothing to do with one’s moral/ethical/maturity/cool stature. Now I admit this idea is pretty radical (radical as in Russian Revolution radical not the 70s “those pants are rad man” radical), but it holds its own. Just look at Danny Devito. He’s like 3 feet and he was married to Sigourney Weaver for a little.[7] Well that’s it for the big news in the Shearer fam so I’ll hand the reigns over to the others to put their piece in.
Breaking News Redux (Missoula, MT): Hello all. Welcome to Zach’s portion of the Christmas letter. Apparently, Dylan’s so obsessed with my height that he forgot to actually tell you anything important. Honestly, I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it, but then Dylan drops that massive half paragraph dump. Really? Jealous, much? Anyway, I’m going to take the high road and actually tell you how my year went.
I finished off senior year with out too many problems. It was probably the first semester of school where over half the classes I was taking were ones that I really wanted to be taking. Let’s be honest here. I’d rather sit through an hour of high-pitched monkey shrieks everyday than go through Chem/Phys AP again. That’s why the rest of my schedule was filled with classes like Creative Writing and Music Theory and Graphic Design. It was a lot of fun. Then, graduation finally came around in June. For a normal person, high school graduation is supposed to be a fun, joyous occasion. Not for me. Let’s go through a list. 1. I had a cold. 2. I was in a sweltering gymnasium with thousands of other people and I was wearing a robe. 3. I didn’t know any of the kids I was sitting next to. 4. If I had gone on stage and done a dance while singing the “I Love You” Barney song it would have been a better speech than the one given. That’s about it. Moving on. Late June. I moved with the parents to Missoula, Montana. As Dylan said, I’m taking a year off before college and spending it here in Montana. So far it’s been fairly nonchalant and relaxing. Now, some of you might take that last sentence and assume, “Wow, that Zach’s being a lazy freeloader for a year.” Yep, pretty much. However, to add to that, so you don’t think I’m destined for my parent’s basement at age 40, it’s not a very fertile job market in Missoula and I have been doing a fair bit of volunteering around town. Other than that, I have the TV schedule memorized and half of Youtube watched...just kidding...to an extent. Well, that’s about it for my part of the Christmas letter. Feel free to find me on Facebook, if I know who you are of course.
Cheryl’s Turn: First of all – I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful holiday season. Despite the usual tone of our annual Christmas letter, I really do enjoy this season of lights and hope and want to send good thoughts to our friends and family.
This has been a year of transition for all of us. My transitions have included a move from Lake Michigan to mountains, leaving a fulltime job I had for 7 years and starting a new, part time job, leaving a small urban Mennonite congregation and attending a large Presbyterian church, having my oldest child leave home and getting a new cat. I love the change from urban to mostly rural – although I’m glad to be living in Missoula city limits. I don’t miss my daily hour-long commute at all. Even though Dylan lives in the same town as we do, I’m trying to let him be an independent college student so I don’t see him very much. Unlike my previous cat Jack Jack, Casper likes me and will even sit in my lap from time to time. The change from full-time to part-time work has given me time to get to know this new place better. I’ve volunteered at several local social service agencies including a cat shelter, a homeless shelter, and - this past Sunday - at the health department giving H1N1 vaccines. So the changes have been fairly positive – but it’s still changes.
Tobin’s Turn: The best thing about my day, every day, is coming home from parking my nerdcycle in the garage (yes I ride to and from work each day even in -10 degrees Fahrenheit) and finding Cheryl and Zach in the house. It is so much better than returning to the condo and finding it empty. Other highlights of the past year have been getting paid to teach students who actually want to come to class, running the Missoula marathon under four hours at 44 years of age, summiting Lolo Peak with Dylan and Zach, and receiving word that Johns Hopkins press accepted my manuscript - Daily Demonstrators: The Civil Rights Movement in Mennonite Homes and Sanctuaries. Unexpected developments include: finding purpose and meaning in attending a large, mainline congregation (First Presbyterian church of Missoula), encountering true community, joy, and laughter in a weekly supper club, and connecting with alumni of UM’s Black Studies program at their reunion this fall. Missoula has begun to feel like home.
Contact Info:
1020 S. Grant St., Unit B
Missoula, MT 59801
Cheryl Shearer
Dylan Shearer <flamekicks@gmail.com>
Tobin Miller Shearer
Zachary Shearer
[1] Big word #1.
[2] Bonus points for actually looking these guys up.
[3] Who saw that one coming?
[4] What about this one?
[5] Get ready for the science joke.
[6] Shout out to the Lenz family.
[7] Pun intended.
